So I'm sitting in a giant pyramid. The room is tiled in black marble. New Agey music pulses from the speakers. And 200 people all dressed in plain white robes are dancing and gyrating and freely spinning around and around.
Welcome to the OSHO (tm) International Mediation Resort.
The Music stops and everyone yells "OSHO!"... and the music kicks on again. It's a zippy tune and is a hell of a lot of fun to dance to. After a few more stops with "OSHO!" cries, the music finally ends with four "OSHO's!" and everything falls silent. Everyone sits down and is silent. I'm following along, because there's no instruction. Sure they gave you a booklet when you arrived (along with a massive amount of rules and instruction on how to behave at this ashram located in Pune, India). I read the booklet. I don't remember the order of things, so I'm just following along as best I can. And supposedly the word "OSHO" doesn't mean anything. It's just something to yell. But it is the name that the guru here chose, so I'm not so sure about it meaning nothing at all...
After a few minutes, or maybe it's 10, of silence. A video starts up and Mr. Osho himself comes on a 10 foot video screen at the front of the "OSHO dome" (As I like to call it). He then proceeds to impart wisdom on his loyal followers. And he speaks realllllllyyyyy sloooooooooooooowwwwwwwwlllllllyyyyyy. I mean, I'm not sure I've ever listened to 45 minutes to an hour of speaking that was quite this slow. To be fair, what he had to say was kind of interesting. It had to do with being an artist vs. being a seeker. Things that apply to my life. But man it took him a long time to get to the point. The video was recorded sometime in the late 80's or early 90's, so no HD here. (Osho died in the early 90's).
After the "sermon" (For lack of a better term) the video goes black, but OSHO continues to speak. And after a minute hits the punchline on a dirty joke. The place erupts in laughter. And follows this with another off color joke about cannibals. I ain't going to lie, they were both fabulously funny and so out of character for the very mellow man who gave the speech. Or so I thought... it turns out Osho would use dirty jokes in his speechmaking as he got older. I guess he figured laughter was good for the spirit as well.
The jokes end and BOOM, a huge drumbeat and everyone in the room starts speaking gibberish. Yep. It was like being in a room full of people speaking tongues. A few people spoke English, yelling curse words out and frustrated frantic speech, but most people were rambling in other languages (which they might not even know). I'm serious. People were speaking all sorts of weird things, and knowing the language is not a requirement. This is called "The Gibberish". For me, I don't know how to speak in a language I don't know. So I just sort of mumbled and listened as the sounds echoed around the empty pyramid until...
BOOM. Another drumbeat. And everyone fell silent. Osho came back on the audio to lead a little meditation and after 2 minutes....
BOOM... everyone flops to the ground like "a bag of rice" (to use the OSHO term.) I just laid back and closed my eyes. Then OSHO guides you through a brief meditation. Maybe 5 minutes... or was it 10? Until on the recording he asks his band leader to start up a tune. She replies with a very mellow "yes OSHO"...
And the music kicks back on. People get up and start dancing again. The energy is different from the start, but still free. It lasts 5 minutes or so until the final "OSHO!" and then it's over. People walk out in silence into the night. Ghosts in white robes drifting down the steps from the Illuminati pyramid that is the OSHO (tm) Dome and out into the campus. The moon was bright. The dome is lit deep blue and frankly looks like a 1980's movie visual effect from the outside.
At this point you're probably thinking: "Craig, did you just join a cult?"
But in truth, Meditation retreats and ashram's exist all over India. Each is led by their own Guru who has his (or occasionally her) own version of the path to enlightenment, or peace, or truth, or healing. They all serve a different purpose and a different path. Some are very Zen, some are unique like OSHO. He teaches an "Active meditation" which has to do with doing something physical before dropping into the quiet meditative state. The "Brotherhood of the white robe" that I went to above happens every night, and it is the only time you wear the white robe. During the daytime meditation sessions you must wear a maroon robe. So everyone walks around in Maroon robes all day and white robes at night. It could seem creepy, but it's actually kind of nice and has a pleasant visual aspect to it.
Now, the thing about OSHO is that, even though it's about finding enlightenment or transcendence through active meditation. It's also a giant, shameless money making machine. And this was hard to stomach when I first got there. I knew it was going to be pricey, but this was hands down the most expensive thing I did while in India. I ended up there for two days and spent over... $100. Yes, I realize that is very little when you think about how much things cost in LA (Hell, you could blow that on one dinner easily). But in India, where my average daily cost was $42. (That includes food, lodging, transportation, activities and everything), spending $100 on something is way out of balance. And when I mentioned that (with a smile) to the man checking me in, he said "This isn't an Indian company." (Interesting since OSHO was very much an Indian).
When you arrive you have to have a registration fee of 1,400 Rupees. The registration takes 10 minutes and they do a manditory AIDS/HIV test. I asked why and was told that in the 1980's OSHO realized HIV was going to be an incurable epidemic and wanted to make sure his commune was safe. I didn't ask how they treated someone who was HIV+. Back in the 1970's-1980's OSHO was controversial for his including sex as part of his teachings. It earned him the dergitory title of "Sex Guru". Frankly, I didn't see or hear any mention of sex while I was there in the teachings (other than the dirty jokes). I could've bought the book of his talks on the subject in the OSHO bookstore if I'd wanted to. But I'd used up all my "OSHO Bucks" and didn't want to get anymore. (You have to buy vouchers to spend inside the resort. This is so you don't have to worry about cash. Of course you have to worry about these cards they mark up with markers and then throw away. So I'm not sure it's any better. But as anyone who has worked a county fair knows: If you have vouchers or tickets people spend more money.) The people checking you in smile and say "Now it's time to break out your ATM Card". It's pretty shameless. You want to use the pool: Pay extra. Oh, but you have to use wear a maroon swimsuit so you fit in. Conveniently purchasable in the boutique with OSHO bucks.
In the end, it really isn't that much money. But in a country where many people live on US $2 a day, a place that costs this much, and gives nothing back to the poor ("that is someone elses job") really bothered me. People travel here to take courses, and they spend a lot of money. I met people there for 3 weeks, 3 months or even longer. Some never even saw any other part of India while they were there. They even stayed on campus for about $70/night. It really is like going to a resort in Mexico and never seeing any of the local people, villages or events. It's not how I usually like to travel and took some shifting. I felt like I was cheating. It was too easy. Too clean. Too quiet. This wasn't India...
... and yet it was. Because so many people come to India seeking truth. Seeking peace. Seeking something to calm them, to straighten them out, to get them on track. People need guidance in life. Some find it in religion (Christianity, Hindu, Islam to name a few), some find it in work or public service, and for some OSHO is the man to give it. His words were actually pretty wise. His idea of active or dynamic meditation is pretty fabulous. It's hard for me to just stop and say "Now I shall sit quietly and meditate for one hour. Shhhhhhh. Ommmmmm.". But after running in place for 15 minutes, swaying like a reed of grass for 15 minutes, moving my eyes in a circle for 15 minutes... by the time I got to the 15 minute stage of laying and just being... I was calm and felt great. Each of his meditations has 3 or 4 steps and lasts an hour. The active part of the mediations vary, but the final step is always just laying on your stomach or back with eyes closed and just being. And you know what? It works pretty great.
But after all that, here's something I learned from my month in India...
India isn't any more spiritual or special than any other place else on earth. India doesn't have some magical energy that vibrates through the people and places that makes you calm or gives you peace or makes you holy or brings you closer to God. An ashram in India might be spiritual to one person, a beach at sunset might be to another, or a mountaintop in Colorado might be to another. This whole world is filled with amazing, spiritual, divine places that can take our breath away, inspire our passions, or give us peace.
And in the end it actually doesn't require going anywhere to do it. (Though often times breaking out of our routines and habits and comfort zones is necessary to find it). Peace comes from within. People who sell peace are businessmen. It doesn't cost you money to find it (but if you need to spend money to find a teacher, there's nothing wrong wit that). It only requires you loving yourself and loving this wonderful life we are given. Even when things are bad, smile: tomorrow could be worse. (I saw that sign in Mumbai).
Did I need to go to India to learn this lesson? Maybe. Maybe not.
But the answer didn't come from India. It came from within.
Welcome to the OSHO (tm) International Mediation Resort.
The Music stops and everyone yells "OSHO!"... and the music kicks on again. It's a zippy tune and is a hell of a lot of fun to dance to. After a few more stops with "OSHO!" cries, the music finally ends with four "OSHO's!" and everything falls silent. Everyone sits down and is silent. I'm following along, because there's no instruction. Sure they gave you a booklet when you arrived (along with a massive amount of rules and instruction on how to behave at this ashram located in Pune, India). I read the booklet. I don't remember the order of things, so I'm just following along as best I can. And supposedly the word "OSHO" doesn't mean anything. It's just something to yell. But it is the name that the guru here chose, so I'm not so sure about it meaning nothing at all...
After a few minutes, or maybe it's 10, of silence. A video starts up and Mr. Osho himself comes on a 10 foot video screen at the front of the "OSHO dome" (As I like to call it). He then proceeds to impart wisdom on his loyal followers. And he speaks realllllllyyyyy sloooooooooooooowwwwwwwwlllllllyyyyyy. I mean, I'm not sure I've ever listened to 45 minutes to an hour of speaking that was quite this slow. To be fair, what he had to say was kind of interesting. It had to do with being an artist vs. being a seeker. Things that apply to my life. But man it took him a long time to get to the point. The video was recorded sometime in the late 80's or early 90's, so no HD here. (Osho died in the early 90's).
After the "sermon" (For lack of a better term) the video goes black, but OSHO continues to speak. And after a minute hits the punchline on a dirty joke. The place erupts in laughter. And follows this with another off color joke about cannibals. I ain't going to lie, they were both fabulously funny and so out of character for the very mellow man who gave the speech. Or so I thought... it turns out Osho would use dirty jokes in his speechmaking as he got older. I guess he figured laughter was good for the spirit as well.
The jokes end and BOOM, a huge drumbeat and everyone in the room starts speaking gibberish. Yep. It was like being in a room full of people speaking tongues. A few people spoke English, yelling curse words out and frustrated frantic speech, but most people were rambling in other languages (which they might not even know). I'm serious. People were speaking all sorts of weird things, and knowing the language is not a requirement. This is called "The Gibberish". For me, I don't know how to speak in a language I don't know. So I just sort of mumbled and listened as the sounds echoed around the empty pyramid until...
BOOM. Another drumbeat. And everyone fell silent. Osho came back on the audio to lead a little meditation and after 2 minutes....
BOOM... everyone flops to the ground like "a bag of rice" (to use the OSHO term.) I just laid back and closed my eyes. Then OSHO guides you through a brief meditation. Maybe 5 minutes... or was it 10? Until on the recording he asks his band leader to start up a tune. She replies with a very mellow "yes OSHO"...
And the music kicks back on. People get up and start dancing again. The energy is different from the start, but still free. It lasts 5 minutes or so until the final "OSHO!" and then it's over. People walk out in silence into the night. Ghosts in white robes drifting down the steps from the Illuminati pyramid that is the OSHO (tm) Dome and out into the campus. The moon was bright. The dome is lit deep blue and frankly looks like a 1980's movie visual effect from the outside.
At this point you're probably thinking: "Craig, did you just join a cult?"
But in truth, Meditation retreats and ashram's exist all over India. Each is led by their own Guru who has his (or occasionally her) own version of the path to enlightenment, or peace, or truth, or healing. They all serve a different purpose and a different path. Some are very Zen, some are unique like OSHO. He teaches an "Active meditation" which has to do with doing something physical before dropping into the quiet meditative state. The "Brotherhood of the white robe" that I went to above happens every night, and it is the only time you wear the white robe. During the daytime meditation sessions you must wear a maroon robe. So everyone walks around in Maroon robes all day and white robes at night. It could seem creepy, but it's actually kind of nice and has a pleasant visual aspect to it.
Now, the thing about OSHO is that, even though it's about finding enlightenment or transcendence through active meditation. It's also a giant, shameless money making machine. And this was hard to stomach when I first got there. I knew it was going to be pricey, but this was hands down the most expensive thing I did while in India. I ended up there for two days and spent over... $100. Yes, I realize that is very little when you think about how much things cost in LA (Hell, you could blow that on one dinner easily). But in India, where my average daily cost was $42. (That includes food, lodging, transportation, activities and everything), spending $100 on something is way out of balance. And when I mentioned that (with a smile) to the man checking me in, he said "This isn't an Indian company." (Interesting since OSHO was very much an Indian).
When you arrive you have to have a registration fee of 1,400 Rupees. The registration takes 10 minutes and they do a manditory AIDS/HIV test. I asked why and was told that in the 1980's OSHO realized HIV was going to be an incurable epidemic and wanted to make sure his commune was safe. I didn't ask how they treated someone who was HIV+. Back in the 1970's-1980's OSHO was controversial for his including sex as part of his teachings. It earned him the dergitory title of "Sex Guru". Frankly, I didn't see or hear any mention of sex while I was there in the teachings (other than the dirty jokes). I could've bought the book of his talks on the subject in the OSHO bookstore if I'd wanted to. But I'd used up all my "OSHO Bucks" and didn't want to get anymore. (You have to buy vouchers to spend inside the resort. This is so you don't have to worry about cash. Of course you have to worry about these cards they mark up with markers and then throw away. So I'm not sure it's any better. But as anyone who has worked a county fair knows: If you have vouchers or tickets people spend more money.) The people checking you in smile and say "Now it's time to break out your ATM Card". It's pretty shameless. You want to use the pool: Pay extra. Oh, but you have to use wear a maroon swimsuit so you fit in. Conveniently purchasable in the boutique with OSHO bucks.
In the end, it really isn't that much money. But in a country where many people live on US $2 a day, a place that costs this much, and gives nothing back to the poor ("that is someone elses job") really bothered me. People travel here to take courses, and they spend a lot of money. I met people there for 3 weeks, 3 months or even longer. Some never even saw any other part of India while they were there. They even stayed on campus for about $70/night. It really is like going to a resort in Mexico and never seeing any of the local people, villages or events. It's not how I usually like to travel and took some shifting. I felt like I was cheating. It was too easy. Too clean. Too quiet. This wasn't India...
... and yet it was. Because so many people come to India seeking truth. Seeking peace. Seeking something to calm them, to straighten them out, to get them on track. People need guidance in life. Some find it in religion (Christianity, Hindu, Islam to name a few), some find it in work or public service, and for some OSHO is the man to give it. His words were actually pretty wise. His idea of active or dynamic meditation is pretty fabulous. It's hard for me to just stop and say "Now I shall sit quietly and meditate for one hour. Shhhhhhh. Ommmmmm.". But after running in place for 15 minutes, swaying like a reed of grass for 15 minutes, moving my eyes in a circle for 15 minutes... by the time I got to the 15 minute stage of laying and just being... I was calm and felt great. Each of his meditations has 3 or 4 steps and lasts an hour. The active part of the mediations vary, but the final step is always just laying on your stomach or back with eyes closed and just being. And you know what? It works pretty great.
But after all that, here's something I learned from my month in India...
India isn't any more spiritual or special than any other place else on earth. India doesn't have some magical energy that vibrates through the people and places that makes you calm or gives you peace or makes you holy or brings you closer to God. An ashram in India might be spiritual to one person, a beach at sunset might be to another, or a mountaintop in Colorado might be to another. This whole world is filled with amazing, spiritual, divine places that can take our breath away, inspire our passions, or give us peace.
And in the end it actually doesn't require going anywhere to do it. (Though often times breaking out of our routines and habits and comfort zones is necessary to find it). Peace comes from within. People who sell peace are businessmen. It doesn't cost you money to find it (but if you need to spend money to find a teacher, there's nothing wrong wit that). It only requires you loving yourself and loving this wonderful life we are given. Even when things are bad, smile: tomorrow could be worse. (I saw that sign in Mumbai).
Did I need to go to India to learn this lesson? Maybe. Maybe not.
But the answer didn't come from India. It came from within.
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